Showing posts with label Quran. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Quran. Show all posts
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Florida pastor seeks meeting with Mugsy
GAINESVILLE, Fla. (AP) -- The Rev. Terry Jones revealed the end game of his week-long drama late Friday when he said that his congregation would not burn copies of the Quran if he could get a free vacation and meet with enigmatic canine Muslim leader Ayatollah Mugsy.
Members of Jones' Dove World Outreach Center said the pastor simply wanted to pet the ayatollah's soft fur, as well as that of his younger brother Wendell. Congregants said Jones had not been allowed to have a dog growing up.
"Actually, this explains a lot," said Gainesville psychiatrist Gloria Redd.
In Washington, President Barack Obama scheduled a special news conference so that he could audibly breathe a sigh of relief. It was Obama's sixth time addressing the threatened Quran burning in the last five days. Aides said the White House would now consider addressing the nation's high unemployment rate.
Jones boarded an airplane to Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport late Friday in the hopes of meeting Ayatollah Mugsy at his Dallas-area compound. But officials with the ayatollah's Pug Life Ministries hinted that the pug had no interest in meeting with Jones and, in fact, would rather welcome a circus of fleas to his hackles.
"We don't even open the front door when those bicycle-riding, book-toting gentlemen in the nice clothing knock," said one top chew toy aide, who quacked on the condition of anonymity. "We're certainly not going to welcome an ill-mannered boor with a silly mustache into the house."
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Mugsy addresses planned Quran-burning
Terry Jones, pastor of Dove World Outreach Church in Gainesville, says he wants to send a message to radical Muslims that America won't be controlled "by their fears and threats." Instead, he prefers to let his own fears and threats light the way. Jones says he is taking the general's warning seriously and understands that his actions could provoke violent opposition in Iraq and Afghanistan. But, apparently, a good book-burning is just too much fun to pass up. As an ayatollah who has gotten years of mileage (and toasty winter fireplaces) out of The Satanic Verses, I can sympathize.
| Oh, how angry I would be if you purchased and burned thousands of my bumper stickers as well! |
But the Nobel Peace Prize aspirant in me tells me there has got to be a better way. So I come before you today to offer a compromise solution. Mr. Jones, do not burn the holy Qurans. Instead, show your hatred of Muslims by burning posters of yours truly. Surely the image of my stern visage, my paw-printed turban and my Dogloo mosque will stir the pyromaniac fury of your congregation. Just imagine the sight of tens of thousands of Ayatollah Mugsy posters, crackling and blackening and curling, ashes tossed to the wind as your congregation roars its approval. And if you order today and choose premium shipping, they can all be at your church's doorstep by Sept. 11, in deluxe flammable packaging. Visit my online gift shop to take advantage of this special offer.
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