Grand Opening/Going Out of Business sale

Can it be true?!? Am I offering 15 percent off my already low, low prices?! I must be INSAAAAANE!!! Yes, I'm Crazy Muggy, with a deal too good to be true!! For two days only, enter promo code FAVES at the Pug Life Ministries Gift Shop, and you could get a moderate discount!! Bad credit? NO PROBLEM! No shoes, no shirt? NO PROBLEM! I'm stacking them deep and selling them cheap! I've got T-shirts, stationery, magnets, mugs, classic harem-wear thong underwear with my face on it -- I must be LOSING MY MIND! So don't delay; visit Crazy Muggy's store today, where the prices are INSAAAANE!!!!

CLICK HERE to visit the gift shop.

Mugsy addresses planned Quran-burning

The pastor of a Florida church says his congregation plans to go through with its plan to burn Qurans on Sept. 11 despite the objections of Gen. David Petraeus, who warned that the action could endanger American troops.

Terry Jones, pastor of Dove World Outreach Church in Gainesville, says he wants to send a message to radical Muslims that America won't be controlled "by their fears and threats." Instead, he prefers to let his own fears and threats light the way. Jones says he is taking the general's warning seriously and understands that his actions could provoke violent opposition in Iraq and Afghanistan. But, apparently, a good book-burning is just too much fun to pass up. As an ayatollah who has gotten years of mileage (and toasty winter fireplaces) out of The Satanic Verses, I can sympathize. 

Oh, how angry I would be if
you purchased and burned
thousands of my bumper stickers
as well!

But the Nobel Peace Prize aspirant in me tells me there has got to be a better way. So I come before you today to offer a compromise solution. Mr. Jones, do not burn the holy Qurans. Instead, show your hatred of Muslims by burning posters of yours truly. Surely the image of my stern visage, my paw-printed turban and my Dogloo mosque will stir the pyromaniac fury of your congregation. Just imagine the sight of tens of thousands of Ayatollah Mugsy posters, crackling and blackening and curling, ashes tossed to the wind as your congregation roars its approval. And if you order today and choose premium shipping, they can all be at your church's doorstep by Sept. 11, in deluxe flammable packaging. Visit my online gift shop to take advantage of this special offer. 

A league of our own

I am considering starting the first-ever Pug Life Ministries Fantasy Football League, with a prize from the ministry's gift shop going to the second-place finisher. (It would not be sporting of me to award a prize to my own team.) If you're interested in taking part, e-mail me or send me a message on Facebook. 

Legal challenge to the ministry

The ministry's gift shop has been named in a frivolous cease-and-desist letter, my flock. An infidel who has a trademark on a bowling design claims that it gives him dominion over all uses of the word "pinhead." If this were the case, he would be owed royalties by all who crossed his path and then muttered the word under their breath as they walked away from him. Though he clearly has much personal experience with being a pinhead, his knowledge of copyright and trademark law is sorely lacking. In short, my flock, he has picked a fight with the wrong pug. Not only have I passed the bar in Pugistan, but I have also served as judge, jury and executioner for countless chew toys. My team of legal beagles is researching relevant cases as we speak. God willing, this infidel will regret crossing Pug Life Ministries. It is time for some justice, ayatollah-style.

Father's Day special

I have a special offer for you, my flock. Today only, order $50 or more from my online gift shop and get free shipping! Use coupon code GO4GIFTS.

Father's Day is June 21, and what better way to show your appreciation for Dad than with an official Pug Life Ministries T-shirt or BBQ Apron, or perhaps a Classic Harem-Wear Thong.

All proceeds go to Wendell's Obedience School Fund -- because another sofa cushion would be a terrible thing to waste.