News we can use

Fox News claims to offer "fair and balanced" coverage. But do you ever hear about the burgeoning fundamentalist Islamic canine movement on Fox? Does Fox News report on the plight of disenfranchised dogs? No. There is no balance. And make no mistake; Fox is not alone. You will not hear CNN reporting on the many charitable activities of Pug Life Ministries. Nor will you see a story on MSNBC or ABC News about a charismatic pug ayatollah's mystical healing abilities. The New York Times has never called to request an interview with me, and even the local media outlets have ignored the meteoric rise of pug nationalism. Clearly, these news organizations are not serving the interests of their customers. They are instead letting their anti-dog biases shine through. "If we ignore this growing canine movement," they reason, "it will fizzle out." But let me tell you, my faithful flock, Pug Life is like a snowball roaring down a mountain. We are gaining followers with each passing day. And we must turn to media outlets that recognize this sea change in the American way of life. So I would like to direct you to the news page on ObeyThePureBreed.com. Scroll down a bit, and you'll see what I'm talking about. This news truly is fair and balanced.