Voting Rights for Canines

I have an exciting announcement, my flock. I recently launched a Facebook group to promote our ongoing struggle for canine suffrage. In the first 24 hours, the group's membership increased 70-fold. At this rate, we will surpass our goal of 1 million members and hit a billion by the end of the week! Such unprecedented growth shows that the time is right to organize and demand that our barks be heard. The sleeping canine giant is ready to emerge from its thrice-daily nap and seize power!

To visit the Voting Rights for Canines page and lend your support to the cause, click here.

The site includes a discussion board where you can exchange ideas with other enlightened canine suffragists, contact information for every member of Congress so that you can lobby them to support canine voting rights, news coverage of our burgeoning civil rights movement, a photo gallery of disenfranchised and dejected canines, and links to other useful Web sites. Among those other sites is a list compiled by "U.S. News and World Report" of the 10 worst U.S. presidents. What do they all have in common? Not a single canine voted for any of them. Clearly, our judgment is superior to the humans'. Or, at the least, it can be no worse.

I hope you will take the time to register your support. Our future, and our puppies' future, depends on it.

Mugsy praises court ruling

Let it be known that I commend the enlightened nation of Norway for its Supreme Court's stance on canine civil rights. In a landmark ruling handed down yesterday, the court said that police dogs are public servants, so any attack on a police dog is no different than an attack on a human officer. This common-sense ruling was long overdue, and it should be emulated the world over. Every day, brave canines risk their lives to police the unruly human population. We track down fugitives, sniff out bombs and chat with would-be child predators online to ensnare them, in concert with Dateline NBC's To Catch a Predator (what -- did you think Chris Hanson did all that work by himself?). And in return, we ask only for food and water and perhaps, God willing, an occasional belly rub.

Norway's ruling came in the case of Casper the police dog, who chased down a loathsome burglar when his human handlers could not keep up. The thief kicked and punched Casper, but Casper would not back down. Like any dedicated police dog, he collared the perp.

Casper, a proud canine nation salutes you. The next doughnut is on us.