Plumbing the depths

Greetings, my flock. I have spent the afternoon attempting to make contact with Joe the Plumber to recruit him into the ministry. Recent media reports make it apparent that he is now the most powerful, most important human in the United States, so I felt he could be an asset. Unfortunately, he has yet to return my calls. God willing, he will soon see the light and lend his considerable influence to our cause. Please pray that I do not have to settle for a second-rate partnership with Joe Six-Pack.