Public service announcement

On this, the busiest shopping day of the year, please do not forget to visit the Pug Life Ministries Gift Shop. While your local mall is filled with annoying carols and pushy, foaming-at-the-mouth shoppers who have been out marauding since 3 a.m., my online shop offers a relaxing environment and the best stocking-stuffer deals on the planet. Go forth and buy, my children.