For months now, we have relentlessly pursued the infidel who sought to usurp my power and force you all to give up your God and your private property. This communist evildoer is Public Enemy No. 1 in the eyes of the ministry, and the passage of time cannot erase his crimes against dogkind. He can run, he can hide, but so help me Allah, he can never escape. The ministry's intelligence bureau has been working overtime to track the Blue Satan's movements, and it recently received compelling and credible reports of his whereabouts. We believe Blue Bull has sought refuge in the former Soviet bloc, apparently unaware that communism died out in Europe over 15 years ago. The Bullshevik leader (seen above in a surveillance photo) began his journey in Moscow, seeking asylum from what he hoped would be a friendly government. After being turned away, he visited the Baltics, Hungary, Slovakia and the Czech Republic. Unfortunately, this is where -- despite the efforts of our finest sniffer dogs -- the trail ran cold.
Because this is such an important matter of national security, I am preparing a fact-finding mission to Central Europe. God willing, Blue Bull's cotton shall flow like the mighty Vltava River.
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