Let's celebrate our independence

No, friends, it is not yet time to celebrate Pugistan's independence. But we are only a day away from the 230th birthday of the United States of America (the Great Satan, in ayatollahspeak). And that, my disciples, is reason enough to celebrate ... for now. I wish you all a happy Fourth of July, and I urge you all to be safe and responsible -- under no circumstances is it acceptable to burn down the Ayatollah Compound with stray fireworks. And though we should all enjoy this holiday, we must also remain ultra-vigilant. The scourge of flag-burning is a very real threat. As you can see from the recent attention given the matter in Congress, flag-burning is one of the two or three biggest threats facing this great nation. So be on the lookout for any flag-burning malcontents. And if you see one, tell him Ayatollah Mugsy says to cut it out.