Dallas fundraiser to benefit dogs

A friend of the ministry has sent me an invitation to a canine-oriented fundraiser, and I want to pass it along to all the Pug Life congregants in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. It is a worthy cause. Perhaps not quite as worthy as donating to the ministry, but worthy nonetheless. Tell them Ayatollah Mugsy sent you, and you may get some extra cheese.

WHAT: Dallas hosts "The Big Send-Off" for an animal lover with a mission: Georgia cyclist Bill Craig is biking "The Dallas-to-Dallas Ride for Wet Noses," a fund-raising effort along his 800-mile Texas-to-Georgia route. Join us for some wine and cheese and mingling with animal lovers -- to send Bill off in style! Together, the Humane Society of Dallas County, Metroplex Animal Coalition, Companions for Life and PAWS in the City will toast Craig's ride at an evening event open to the public. Bill's ride will raise funds for shelters and humane societies along his route, via pledges and donations to support his message of "spay, neuter and adopt."

WHEN: Friday, April 4, 5:30 to 7:30 p.m.

WHERE: Paws in the City headquarters, 3506 Cedar Springs, Dallas, TX (Cedar Springs at Sale Street, off Turtle Creek Blvd.)

COST: Guests are asked to make a $20 donation by advance reservation, or $25 at the door.

CONTACT: 770-443-1075 or e-mail sandrasilver@sbcglobal.net

Because I support this cause, I am willing to overlook any human alcohol consumption that may take place. But I must hold the canine Muslims of the congregation to a higher standard and insist that they stick to the water bowl.

Eyelids ... growing ... heavy ...

It has been another exhausting day at the ministry, my flock. I have been perusing some real estate for a possible purchase for the Dogloo mosque, in addition to my usual scholarly and spiritual duties. Allah's work is never done, you know.

Thankfully, I have young Wendell to keep me company and share in my burden.

Let us pray

I would like to thank Conan the Chihuahua for bringing some much-needed publicity to the Buddhist wing of Pug Life Ministries. Although, frankly, I find the first paragraph of this story about the praying pooch to be a bit condescending.

Mugsy condemns 'Wheel of Fortune'

I cannot take anymore, my flock. Every time a letter is correctly chosen on Wheel of Fortune, that infernal "ding" sound sets my hackles on edge. I cannot help but bark my disapproval as each square illuminates. Consonant, vowel -- it makes no difference. In the hands of this evil game show, all the letters of the alphabet torment me.

Judging from this video I found on YouTube, I am not alone in my indignant rage. So I have launched a campaign to remove this filth from the airwaves. God willing, the infidel Pat Sajak and his hussy henchwoman Vanna White will be stopped.

Hoops contest update

I have received some questions and comments on the Pug Life Ministries NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Bracket Challenge "Take On the Ayatollah" Contest™, so I want to briefly touch on a few points.

Someone asked whether this violated canine Islam's prohibition against gambling (which is not to be confused with prudent casino investing). This contest is not the same as those illegal underground office betting pools you may have heard about. It is free to enter this contest, so you are wagering nothing. We are simply playing for fun, and perhaps, God willing, a prize or two.

It was also pointed out to me that ESPN.com has been rather buggy lately, and sometimes clicking on the contest entry link results in an error message. I urge the infidels at ESPN to get this fixed promptly, lest they risk incurring my eternal wrath. If you have encountered this problem, I urge you to try again later.

Finally, my little brother Wendell is, indeed, filling out a bracket. I suspect he will be a natural when it comes to picking basketball games. With his long limbs and slender build, Wendell bears a striking resemblance to former UNLV and NBA star Stacey Augmon, a.k.a. the Plastic Man.

NCAA Tournament contest

Last night, I received a plea from one of the ministry's congregants, who also happens to be a decorated member of the Armed Revolutionary Forces. "Mugsy, great spiritual leader," Braxton barked, "will we be doing the NCAA BB bracket challenge this year?"

And the answer is yes. The Pug Life Ministries NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Bracket Challenge "Take On the Ayatollah" Contest™ is back by popular demand. All entries must be in before the first game tips off Thursday morning. Prizes include $10,000 and a gift from the ministry's online store.

Click here to join the Pug Life Ministries group and fill out your bracket.

Having a ball

It has been a busy weekend here at the ayatollah compound. Rabbi Jake came to visit, and he brought some of my relatives and followers along with him. The big event -- and the primary reason for his visit -- occurred Saturday night, when Rabbi Jake was the special guest barker at the inaugural Ayatollah Mugsy Scouts Spring Cotillion. It was a splendid evening -- an occasion to honor the girls who sold the most Mugsy Scout cookies throughout the year. They all dressed up in their finest gowns and enjoyed an evening of well-mannered song and dance with their canine escorts. (My little brother, Wendell, was quite a hit, as he dances a mean foxtrot.)

As the festivities began, each Scout was presented with a merit badge, as well as a rawhide necklace to ensure that even the homeliest child had no trouble finding a dance partner.